One of our favorite past times here at Frock Flicks HQ is to take a glance a the search terms that people use to land on our website. Not surprisingly, a lot of it is searching for a specific film, or actor, but quite a few searches are a good bit more bewildering, esoteric, or just downright weird. But we love a good challenge, and we’re helpers, so every so often we compile these search terms and take a stab at answering them as best we can. You can read the previous installments of this series here, here, and here.
outlander nipple dress historically accurate
breast hanging dress outlander
“Breast hanging dress” is just about the best description of that famous Outlander ensemble, so good that despite having addressed this previously, I’m allowing it again. And, actually, now that I look, we’ve never addressed the historical accuracy of it.
As mentioned in our recap of that episode, the pierced nipple swans come from the book. Have I ever seen anything involving nipple piercing from the 18th century? Never. Of course, it’s not something I’ve gone looking for, but I feel like it would have come up?
What about boobs literally hanging out of your dress? Okay, so there ARE some portraits showing something like this (although usually it’s a regular bodice that’s not totally fastened), usually as a sign of maternity … and there ARE some fashion plates that show this, and NOT necessarily as a sign of maternity! Did anyone ever actually walk around with the full boob out? Again, I don’t know, but I haven’t come across it, other than those visual sources.
Ronit Milano’s book The Portrait Bust and French Cultural Politics in the Eighteenth Century actually gets into the issue of boobs-out in artwork. He writes:
“These depictions of exposed breasts in portraits stripped of an allegorical context were created by men who were extremely close to the sitters … [These] were extremely private portraits. Their designation for the private sphere further suggests a familial rather than an erotic focus, and a use of the exposed breast and overt smile to touch upon the themes of maternity, nourishment, exemplary wifehood, and familial happiness.”
spying on nun jenny augutter havingsex
I will NEVER not be amused at your weird fetishes, people. I shudder to google “Jenny Agutter” “sex scene” for you, but I can point you to our Woman Crush Wednesday on her, and let you get back to us on any sex scenes (Trystan adds: maybe this search came up because Agutter has played the chief nun on Call the Midwife since 2012? Is there some crazy Daily Mail rumor floating around that we’re not aware of?).
I feel like if we could mash that up with Raquel Welch as a boobs-out nun wearing gogo boots in Bluebeard (1972) this person would be in heaven…
versailles pee floor
how did ladies go to the resteroom in heavy gowns
where did people go to the toilet in 1800 england
I say it every time, YOU PEOPLE ARE SCATALOGICAL. I feel like we need an Everybody Poops: Historical Edition book for potty training adults! People! The human body has not changed that much since Homo Sapien became a thing!
Ok, so you want to know WHERE THE POOP WENT. And also, how people managed “heavy gowns” to do so. I guess no bride has ever pooped in the history of modern weddings?
Ta da! Here, read about some peeing-on-the-floor in 19th-century British theaters and fulfill your gross-out quota for the day.
collection of orphan annie figurines for sale
Mostly I want to know how the hell this search brought someone to our site. I mean yes, we’ve reviewed the cinematic masterpiece that is Annie (1982). But I feel like you’d need to get DEEP into your Google results to get to that. What gives?
what what is hygiene like in the 1600s
victorian hygiene practices
history of reasons people refused to bathe in the 1800s
Meh, I’m sick of this one. Go listen to our first Outlander podcast!
sex costumes for bad girls
Bad how? Like, didn’t do their chores bad? Uses two spaces after a period bad? Refuses to wear a mask in public bad? Side parts their historical hairstyles bad???
And honestly, what about the “sex costumes for good girls” market? Do they not get to play dress up?
Here’s some good Bad Girl costumes, please report back on whether they would be good for having sex in if you try them:
NOW you’re talking my fetish, baby! Probably you’ll be most interested in our post about the headwear in The Affair of the Necklace, which is stunning:
But there are also great hats in:
tits out thursday
Maybe we need to alternate our Throwback Thursday posts with this new theme? It’s not like there aren’t plenty of historical movies and TV shows that feature women with their tits out, and hey, Trystan is the originator of the maxim “I don’t care if it’s historically accurate, I just want my tits out.”
16 century france young teenage girls for sex
I really hope that this search is for historical research, and not some more sinister time-traveling plot. Ages of consent certainly varied; according to the Encyclopedia of Women in the Renaissance, a 1576 English law changed the age of consent there from 12 to 10, which, shudder
But because I refuse to endorse child porn, maybe you should watch:
Mary, Queen of Scots married the French dauphin when she was only 16; you can see rare depictions of her first marriage in:
porn with crowns
Okay, there may actually be a hole in the market for this? I’m not going to research whether there’s any royalty-themed porn, but we do know people who make and wear crowns, so if you need us to hook you up, let us know.
why is jack sparrow so changed in miss fisher’s modern mysteries
I’m not sure if I’ve ever read such an existential question in my life. Did Jack Sparrow find the secret of eternal youth and make it to 1960s Australia? Is this another time travel question? Would Miss Fisher’s Modern Mysteries be more entertaining with some drunken pirate witticisms? (OK so the obvious answer to that last question is YES YES YES.)
how is mr. darcy different from the other men
Mr. Darcy is tall:
He’s rich AF:
He’s grumpy but learns how to be nice JUST FOR YOUUUUUUUUU:
girl fights from cowboy films
Are we talking women wielding guns? Because then you should check out:
If you’re thinking more hair pulling and ruffled panties, you can do no better than:
make dresses like demelza
is emma a chick flick
Is Jane Austen “women’s” literature? I would argue no, that people of any gender could enjoy her excellent writing and the many films/TV adaptations thereof. That being said:
the vvitch cleavage
So depending on where you are in the world, the “W” key and “V” keys are actually not that close togethe r… but maybe you live in a non-W-language country? BUT THEN HOW DO YOU HAVE WASCALLY WABBITS!!
Trystan adds — Maybe they’re referring to the 2015 historical horror movie The Witch? It’s logo used the “VV” format, like this:
And our review included some promo / behind-the-scenes pix where the witchy character has a lot of cleavage for an otherwise very historically accurate flick:
lifting the skirt meaning
Did you mean “prawn hat”? Because that could be entertaining in a Schiaparelli sort of way!
in wuthering heights bbc what is heathcliff wearing around his neck
I don’t know, what IS he wearing around his neck?
bad costumes spanish princess
when was the first metal grommets
Excellent question, since they are the visible panty line of costume! One of the earliest patents I can find mentioning “metal eyelets” is from 1837. According to Jill Salen’s book Corsets: Historical Patterns and Techniques, metal grommets date from about 1830. A cursory search of various Pinterest boards of extant corsets shows me metal grommets on 1840s corsets, but fewer or none from the 1830s and earlier, so that checks out.
See some interesting 19th-century corsets on screen in:
Also check out:
- Who’s the Best Historical Costume Film/TV Pup?
- All the Pups from Marie Antoinette (2006)
- RIP Mayor Cutie
- And all the fun that awaits you in our “pups” tag.
i wasn’t made to be relatable
Keep doing your wacky searches, people!