29 thoughts on “SNARK WEEK RECAP: Maria Theresia Episode 1

  1. Thank you for cheering up my day with the screencaps. I agree that both the history and costumes were really bad. But the horse was pretty. And dumb Hungarians just seems like comic relief.

  2. Is that a baby (or a fake baby) or a whorecelain doll in the middle of the child abuse pic?

      1. Official doll collector’s term. Well, it should be, anyway – I’ve been pushing it for nearly 20 years now, and it’s caught on with quite a few doll collectors. It just sums up that particular genus of shitty mass-produced cheap-ass porcelain doll dressed in enough polyester and pot-scrubber lace to reconstitute a pterodactyl with a “Certificate of Authenticity” to persuade you that Grandma didn’t spend 200 bucks in vain on this undoubted future priceless collectable.

  3. I’ve been staring at the back shot of goth mom’s dress for like ten minutes. I don’t think it’s a center back (mismatched) seam – it looks like a long ass dart! Maybe that’s the reason for the I inexplicable bow – covering a shitty alteration?

    Also, thanks for taking one for the team and reviewing this travesty. Your recap is glorious and there’s no way I would have made it ten minutes into this on my own!

  4. In one Austrian newspaper it was written that the budget of the series was 5 million euros and this in such a tone, as if 5 million euros were a big amount of money for a period film :-).

  5. All I know about Maria Theresa is she fought like a tiger for her rights as her father’s successor, bore a ridiculous number of children while very successfully governing her empire, and was very fond of her husband who wasn’t entirely worthy of her.

    And those costumes are ugly.

  6. I tried to watch this but I couldn’t, the cheap looking white wigs were too distracting. I also read a German language review calling the costumes well made and accurate for the period and I’m still not over that.

  7. All these dresses with clunky sewn-in stomachers, dumpy fit, no corset and trashy sequin applications remind me of costumes for little girls, who want to dress as pretty pretty pink princesses for Halloween/Purim.

  8. Much as I enjoy this site and have been a visitor for a good couple of years now… I must admit I’m frequently at a loss to understand what is going on. Like, you say that something is wrong but don’t explain why it is wrong. I’m often left to wonder why sewn in stomachers are wrong, why two fabric dresses are wrong, why the bodice is too long when it looks to me pretty short, why pearls at the waistline are allegorical, and how the costumer should have dressed a curvier figure? My expertise is mostly in the ancient world. Can you explain what you mean a bit more, or please link to pages like that metal grommet page? Otherwise, it’s all pretty impenetrable for an outsider.

    1. Absolutely! On Friday I’ll do a review with Actual Research(TM) explaining all those things! Sorry, I know that means things are out of order for you… but it’s coming!

  9. This was a great post! Thank you. So much to snark about, but you and your fans have addressed most of it. I was also taken aback by that doll in the kids’ scene which CLEARLY has that shiny nylon or whatever has been used for hair only in the 20th and 21st centuries. And bisque limbs? I don’t think so.

  10. Wow. Just wow. I mean, look, if you have a lot of high class characters to dress, I expect some shortcuts. But there are so many obviously wrong things that could’ve been done in a way that was less obviously wrong.

    The subtitle on the corset back shot in the royal bedchamber says it all—”You should not do this.”

  11. I wonder, that you did’nt mentioned this stupid Prussian-Austrian plot in more depth. How the son of the ultra Calvinist Frederick William I. of Prussia should marry the daughter of the most prominent catholic ruler in Europe was not explained in this masterpeace. The whole storyline of prince Eugen as the most evil man in Austria is so stupid.
    It’s remarkable that not only MT is a complete idiot, who didn’t know anything about the contemporary politics, but Francis is portrayed as the same sort of an idiot. Did anybody told them, that Lorraine was actually a part of the Holy Roman Empire and that exactly at that time, the French invaded Germany (capturing Philippsburg and Kehl)?
    Besides the Prussian prince Frederick had to marry the daughter of George II (although this marriage was canceled later).
    Did you notice that the Hungarians had very plain clothes and missed many elements of the traditional Hungarian clothing? Indeed I very long searched for a portrait of this count Esterhàzy with a beard, but I could not found any reference, that he ever had a moustache at all.

    I would like to read more about the male characters. There is so much going on there! :-D
    Even some Major characters got terrible clothes or suits which were embroidered at the front but without embroidery at the back – maybe they did’nt assumed, that the actor can turn around? :-D

  12. I have dreamt of you reviewing this series since I first saw it when it was released. I had been reading your site for some time and I was horrified at the wigs and the costumes and was curious what you would make of them. Now I can finally read it at length. Looking forward to the next part. So dissapointing that when a frock flick is finally produced over here (I am from Slovakia, we used to be part of the Austrian-Hungarian monarchy) and it is such a crappy one.

    1. A fellow Slovak lady, yay! Honestly, both the history and (to a lesser extent) costumes are horribly misshapen, which is that much worse, since MT is my favourite historical ruler, period. Not to mention writing and characterization, which just go from bad to worse. I HATE THIS SHOW SO MUCH.

      1. I asked myself (coming from Freiburg, which was one of those minor Austrian capitals at MTs reign) how People from Slowakia and Hungary would think about the outrageous depiction of the Nobility in such a crap.

        Besides I was astonished that in an Austrian production prince Eugen, who was an Austrian hero during the 19th and 20th century, was shown as a stupid, plotting old villain.

        Although I’m surprised that MT is for somebody in Slowakia a favourite ruler. I thought about her as a competent Monarch. But besides she was very repressive especially to the Protestant people. During her reign the multicultural character of the army (and maybe of her government) changed dramatically.
        Nevertheless I’m somehow a fanboy of Bartenstein on my own – just because he was so self-satisfied. It’s laughable, that he was changed in this series to a incapable antagonist of his queen.

  13. Thank you so much, Kendra; you soar above and beyond, as always. Any theories as to why the production couldn’t or wouldn’t provide corsets? Did the actresses go on strike against them?

  14. But surely the production team and actors must see how extremely unbecoming the costumes and wigs are?! Why even bother to produce something so awful, if it’s not for a parody or something?!

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