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Before 2018’s Mary Queen of Scots brought me to incoherent screaming, this deeply shitty miniseries made me wail and gnash my teeth. Inexplicably made by the BBC — maybe by someone who hates Scotland? and Catholics? and women in general? — as if to prove that, yes, the ol’ Beeb can churn out some historical dreck too, it’s not just America and telenovelas that scrape the bottom of the frock flick barrel, Gunpowder, Treason, & Plot (2004) supposedly tells of Mary’s reign in Scotland, her downfall, and then her son James’ reign in England and the Gunpowder Plot. It’s time for me to suffer through a rewatch for you, dear readers, so gird your loins. Oh and because this is my blog and I deeply hate this particular show, the title gets a serial comma, fuckers!
Catch up with part one covering Mary Queen of Scots, because now we’re off with her son James, all grown up and king of Scotland and gunning for England! This version of King James is nasty, brutish, and club-footed. He has a huge inferiority complex, calling himself ugly, misshapen, sick, and twisted over and over again. Which, yes, he may have had weak legs and/or some muscle control problems, why make him obsessed with it? He was an excellent horse-rider and loved hunting, so it’s not like he spent his life confined to a dark corner. Further, using a perception of his own disability to make him violently cruel to everyone is shitty writing.
Just like turning his bisexual tendencies into this James being a misogynistic shitbag who hates and is actively vicious to all women, especially his wife. In period accounts, the relationship between James and Anne of Denmark was rather kind, even if it cooled at the end. Adding to the self-loathing, James is portrayed as mostly using sex with men as a grotesque power trip, instead of the infatuated / loving exchanges in James’ letters to his male favourites.
You might think making the king so reprehensible then makes the whole Gunpowder Plot seem like a good idea. Screenwriter Jimmy McGovern actually had a concept of making the Gunpowder Plot an analogy to America’s 9/11, saying:
“I always argue that you must condemn violence; but then you should have the guts to say, ‘What brought these people to this level of bloodthirst? What is the source of their grievance?'”
IDK, man, everybody in this half of the movie is as stupid as in the first half. I don’t think McGovern explored anyone’s motivations. James is terrible but just out for himself. He plays the Catholics for both sides. Robert Cecil is the one who’s bloodthirsty and out to make Catholic martyrs. Catesby, Fawkes, and the Gunpowder Plotters are just happy to oblige. The screenwriter just put a bunch of angry, manipulative people together and let them go BOOM.
The costumes only seem marginally better in this half, perhaps because the main characters are now men, and their outfits are pretty generic. There’s only two women, and Anne gets a few dupes of the same dress — but with actual historical hair, shocking! The other lady is a hot mess on multiple counts, as you’ll see.
So let’s dive in, because right after part one’s brief shot of Mary in a Scottish jail, the next scene / episode jumps to Fotheringhay Castle with James being shown around by the English minister, Robert Cecil. Usually frock flicks have a historically inaccurate meeting between the queens Mary and Elizabeth, but this one goes for a historically inaccurate visit of James to his mom in an English prison.
James even watches Mary “practicing” for her execution in this prison cell. What the actual fuck?
Then James makes a deal with Cecil to OK Mary’s death so James gets to be king of England. Um, that’s not how it happened, but whatever, this show has already said facts are demeaning eyeroll

There aren’t too many early images of James, but then, it’s not like this flick is going to show an age or costume progression.

All the men in part one and two wear pretty much the same shape and style of suit in random fabrics.

For some reason, Anne of Denmark has traveled with James to Fotheringhay. They aren’t married yet — which is accurate, since MQoS was executed in 1587, and James and Anne were married in 1589. Of course, Anne didn’t arrive in Scotland until 1589 either.
She’s dressed in a wild misunderstanding of early 17th-century fashions. I know where they think they’re getting that hat, but I disapprove.

Just to set the tone, James yells at Anne, telling her she will never love an ugly git like him.
Wrapping up Mary Queen of Scots’ execution — it’s the only not-bloody killing in this part of the miniseries, but it’s pretty stupid to show her getting her neck chopped when she’s still wearing a hat and veil. DUH.

Back at the Scottish court, James is drunk when some Scots bust in and threaten vengeance for Mary’s execution. Hahah, nobody really cared at the time. James says “nah, but maybe wait till tomorrow.” Then he has all those guys killed in a bloody scene, because that’s how he rolls, as he tells the camera. Because, oh yeah, in this half, some of the characters kinda sorta break the fourth wall and talk directly to the camera. But it’s hard to tell because the dialog is pretty janky all around.

Finally James and Anne are married, again it’s just via signing some paperwork.



The earliest image I can find of Anne of Denmark in Scotland. Any resemblance?

That’s followed up with some brutal wedding night fucking. Anne’s still in her fancy dress, crying and fighting back as James basically rapes her and calls all wives whores.

James leaves the bed to go find a boy, which Anne sees. ding She gets it. Next morning, James finds Anne at breakfast. He orders her to have sons, but says she can take a lover after that. She’s pissed at him, ‘natch.

Here’s the tall rounded hair that Anne adopts in later portraits.

Suddenly they’re having a portrait painted with three kids, so time has passed and more fucking has occurred (fun fact: Anne of Denmark was pregnant at least 10 times during their marriage, so James did more than just try for an heir and a spare; I think there was something more pleasant between them).



LOVE that the little girl gets a wee wheel-farthingale gown, standing ruff, and tall hairstyle! See? Kids would have been dressed as mini-adults, including the hair. Why can’t more frock flicks do that? Why can’t this frock flick do things like that consistently?
Anne’s swapped the floating ruff for a more fashionable & accurate open standing ruff. Though the hairstyle is suddenly from the 1580s. IRL, Anne does rock the open ruff, just the show goes big.

Funny how she totally overshadows sleepy James, though he’s trying with a sorry attempt at a flat ruff. Promo pic shows a little more detail:
Queen Elizabeth is dying, and while the old arm/hand shown isn’t from the previous episode’s actress, I swear the black and gold dress she’s wearing is (that sleeve puff looks the same!). Cecil whinges about Catholics, as he’s going to for this whole episode — everyone is one-note.
Catholics, lead by Robert Catesby, are hiding out in the woods to take mass, and there’s lots of history-for-dummies exposition about how Catholics are following the one true faith. Cecil talks into the camera saying Catholics are shits who need to be murdered, and he starts by hanging the priest.

Catesby tells another Catholic, Thomas Percy, to go to King James and plead for this to stop. The idea is that James is son of a Catholic martyr and will grant tolerance. Catesby and the others are taken to prison.
Percy arrives at the Scottish court and tells James they’re supporting a rival claim to the English throne Catholic Princess Isabella (huh?). James is pouty, but Anne tells him not to piss off the Catholics because he doesn’t want a divided kingdom.

Percy is waiting, and that red Mary Queen of Scots portrait keeps him company, until James returns. Percy asks the king to end Catholic persecution in exchange for their support.

James whinges about how he’s soooo bad blah blah blah, and then he forces Percy to give him a blow job in exchange for supporting the Catholics.

Queen Elizabeth is finally dead, and Cecil announces James as King of England.

This movie’s Cecil is so greasy and sleazy, he looks like even more the bad guy than James. But historically he just looked like any other well-off dude.

Back in Scotland, there’s a eunuch (assuming from the high voice and feminized garb) singing for James when Anne comes in to announce Elizabeth’s death.

Anne’s loose gown is appropriate maternity wear. Dunno what’s going on with the singer’s outfit.

James wants to go to London immediately, but she says wait till after the funeral, and she wants a big fancy carriage to arrive in style. But it still looks chintzy to me.

James, finally wearing a hat, tells Cecil to release the Catholics and stop persecuting them.

But the dude had a lot of hat portraits. Tall hats were popular!

The Catholics get to go home, and Thomas Percy tells them the king promised tolerance, and if he breaks that promise, Percy will kill him (subtext: I sucked his dick, he better not back out!).
James wants a fancier coronation than Elizabeth’s funeral because, y’know, divine right ‘n shit. Cecil says parliament has to give him the money. James whines. I’d like to complain about modern costumers who don’t realize that 16th/17th-c. doublets had STRUCTURE. They aren’t floppy, one-layer shirts. They’re more like a highly tailored suit jacket. The garment could stand up on its own.

Compare with:

That same doublet has 136 images on the V&A website, showing all kinds of detail about how it’s made. Check out this inside view of the doublet! Those little white vertical stitches are called pad stitching, and it’s a tailoring technique to build structure into a garment (it’s still used today in suit jackets; yes, they’re related). I don’t expect this level of handwork in a TV show, but you can (and I have!) fake it by adding layers of stiffened fabrics inside a garment. That’s not expensive and doesn’t take much more time at all, yet it looks A LOT more historical and less sloppy overall.

Meanwhile, Anne gives birth to a dead baby girl in the next room. James is OK with that. Because what he cares about is money.
That’s why he gives a speech to parliament, calling himself ugly again, but also talking shit about Elizabeth and saying “I’ve already done more than her in her entire reign” just because he has two sons. Parliament votes a big, fat “NO” to giving him money for the coronation.

Now Anne’s peeved that they don’t have money for a big coronation like James planned. He uses Cecil’s excuse that there’s plague in London (that much was true).


I bet that flat ruff James wears is the same as in the portrait scene, and maybe this scene was shot first because it’s less crumpled up? You can see in the rainy carriage screencap, the ruff has a wire supporter showing through. There isn’t much lace on it, but the general shape is accurate in comparison:

After the coronation, James tells Anne they have enough kids, so she can take discreet lovers, and again, he promises they’ll be rich. She’s underwhelmed. Promo pic of her coronation outfit, wearing the one big ruff again. Decent silver lace on the gown but the bodice is cut in a weird high curve.
James does more boring king business with Cecil, talking war, money, blah blah blah. Cecil points out all the fines that Catholics used to pay and suggests the king could get more money if he started the fines again. So sure, what the heck, let’s issue a proclamation with fines on mass. Bonus, let’s hang a priest and pull out his bloody beating heart in front of court!

This costume of Anne’s is an example of stripped-down costuming, and I guess here it’s due to skimpy budget. The contrasting bits of fabric are a sad attempt to distract from the lack of trim. And look, rosettes!
Just like the rosettes in this portrait of Anne, right??? whomp whomp

Anne complains to James that the butchery freaks out the kids. Cecil says it has to continue, so James parrots Cecil’s words. Also, James is turned on by the execution and wants to fuck Anne later (ew). Their convo is the only time I could get a full screencap of Anne’s pink gown, which confirms, to no surprise, that her wheel-farthingale gown is made the theatrical way.
Totally a nitpick, but that’s what we live for! Actual wheel-farthingale gowns had long skirts that were pinned up to form that distinctive ruffle at the top. Theatrically, it’s MUCH easier to make the ruffle as a separate piece on top of the skirt.
You can see evidence of the pinned ruffle in portraits:

And even some rare extant gowns:

Fashion is weird and that’s why I love it!
But instead of cool clothes, we get a super grisly scene of bodies at some Spanish war in order to meet Guy Fawkes.
In London, the Catholics are having a party, and a chick (who I eventually figure out is a fictional Lady Margaret) is flirting with all the dudes, trying to get close to Robert Catseby. Her hair is tragic.


The Catholic dudes talk about fighting back. Thomas Percy says, “better to die than live on one’s knees,” har har, let’s keep reminding the audience that he gave the king a blow job!
Thomas Winter continues to flirt with Lady Margaret, and they dance. Headgear on the women at the party is random, and I think this gal is too old to be wearing a biggins, so is it unfortunate? Discuss.
Francis Tresham and his wife Anne want to avoid taking up arms, so they skedaddle from the party. I’m OK with what little I can see of her outfit.
The Catholics start up the Gunpowder Plot in one scene, while Lady Margaret rants at the camera that she’s at war against the Catholic church and she’s a puritan, working with Cecil. Nobody involved in this production heard of “show don’t tell.”


Just plop some over-stuffed shoulder rolls on this:

Cecil learns that Thomas Percy bought the powder and tells James, who’s pissed his BJ buddy has betrayed him in return.
Time for another Catholic party, at this one, a little girl is singing. Her costume is decent, but I can’t say I’ve seen French hoods in the 17th century, and hers needs a veil.
The kid’s hat is marginally better than other ladies’ headgear. I spy with my little eye unfortunate bigginses and a crappy attempt at an attifet, aka Mary Stuart cap!

That third hat shouldn’t look like Mickey Mouse ears, for starters, and it’s past being fashionable by the 1600s anyway. Â This was just a type of structured cap (coif), often worn with a veil. Older women and widows were frequently pictured wearing this cap, and that’s the only time Mary Queen of Scots was shown wearing it.

Yes, hats are my nerdery, and this one specifically! You’re welcome.
Now Margaret flirts with Thomas Winter more, and she leads him to bedroom, trying to get info out of him. They kiss and fuck. The whole time she’s wearing this dumb split-front bodice (the topic of which Kendra ranted about). Even if that style was accurate, it’d be out of fashion by the 1600s. Her hair has gotten even worse, as if that was possible, in a half up/half down mess that looks like she’s wearing a curly jaw-clip fall.



Amazon only sold books, CDs, DVDs, and electronics back in 2004, but these hair clips did exist! You can recreate her hairstyle now for just $15 (please don’t).
It’s not a terrible dress, but it’s not terribly historically accurate either.

Next day, the plotters need to test the gunpowder. As they’re talking, Thomas realizes he mentioned Fawkes’ name to Margaret when they got busy. Ooops.

The guys in the Gunpowder Plot — like any gentlemen of the period! — were depicted wearing tall hats. This image is even reproduced as a mural in the Charing Cross Underground Station in London.

He runs back to find her. For some reason, she’s drenched. Can’t tell, but she might be wearing the same black and gold outfit from her first scene, and I am amused and not surprised to see major gaposis going on. Kendra has explained in loving detail why this is a problem historically, but c’mon it just looks bad!
But whatev, they fuck! As they do, Thomas asks where Margaret gets her money, accuses her of spying for Cecil, calls her a whore, and then strangles her to death.
Cecil finds her naked and dead, so James demands more protection and moves the family around. I guess they’re supposed to be in a smaller castle that’s safer because they’re all in the same room now. Anne tells the kids bedtime stories about Denmark, James listens and has a sad.
Anne is wearing something like a loose gown and she’ll wear this same dress till the end of the show (see below for screencaps). Not sure why she hardly wears any wheel-farthingale gowns after the coronation when that’s THE fashionable style and every contemporary image of her shows her wearing it.
Nice touch, though, of having some fake blackwork and redwork on the kid’s smocks. I’m sure it’s just trim and not real embroidery but it shows they’re princes, not nobodies. Not as fancy as the real thing, a tiny effort was made.

More plotting amongst the Gunpowder Plotters. Enjoy this random pic of them, showing how they just can’t possibly keep their doublets closed, nope, not gonna do it.
Related, parliament wants to meet, and at first James says no, but then says, sure, let’s do it on the 5th of November. Dun dun duh!
James visits Anne in bed and asks to hear about Denmark.
Now Anne has a smock trimmed with something resembling redwork. Again, dramatically simplified, but there’s a historical inspiration.

The plotters gear up for November 5th, and they argue about whether or not to warn any of the Catholics in parliament. Francis Tresham wants to warn his wife’s brother, Lord Monteagle, but his fellow plotters nix the idea because Monteagle would squeal to the king. Of course, Francis tells his wife, in bed.

They visit Lord Monteagle and try to warn him without spilling the beans, and, of course, they tell the whole thing. Francis’ outfit is Renfaire Middle-Class 101 with too much hair and a nice hat. Anne’s outfit is a decade or so out of date and made of cheap materials.
I know exactly what they’re going for — here’s the pattern, though they didn’t need to cut the front of her’s so wide (much like QEI’s loose gown in part one, this just makes it look like there wasn’t enough fabric).

Her costume is aiming for this, but not hitting the mark:

And we’ve said it before about coifs — it’s not a good look on adults unless the coif is worn under a proper hat. Plus her hair should be styled and pinned up underneath the coif. Thus, she’s in unfortunate biggins territory. Which just adds to her fashion problems.
Monteagle wants to warn the king, so they fake an anonymous letter. Cecil reads the letter to James, and they go find the gunpowder.
Plot-wise and costume-wise, there’s not much to talk about from here on. Catholics work on their Gunpowder Plot, Cecil and James decide how / when to thwart them. They do, of course. Guy Fawkes is caught and tortured, with a needless gruesome scene depicting it.
During a convo between James and Anne, I got another good view of the side / back of her hair.
It’s well done but the heart shape style really looks more like the 1950s than the 1600s, and Anne was shown with the high pointy hair at this decade.

James and Anne bond over the torture and killing of both Fawkes and the guy James extorted for sex. Right before they enter parliament, James asks Anne if she’s picked a lover yet. She says no, so he says he’ll visit her bed, and she says “that prospect no longer repels me.” Um, yay?
Scroll back up for what this loose gown should look more like. The princess seams aren’t right — that’s a Victorian technique.

I still maintain that this style of gown is a bit out of date, especially for the queen at an important function. She should have a wheel-farthingale gown, like this:

James tells parliament about the whole Gunpowder Plot and shows Guy Fawkes’ confession.
He says all the plotters will be hung, drawn, and quartered, and really gets into it describing the torture. James goes on, saying he never promised toleration, and Catholics are evil and must be destroyed. Then he asks parliament for money, and they vote “yes” overwhelmingly.
The last scene is James going back and looking up at that red Mary Queen of Scots portrait, saying, “If you could only see me now!”
UGH. And now let’s never talk about this thing again!
Find this frock flick at:
Rumpelstiltskin, the OUAT set is thataway! Go harass Belle or something! points left
I suspect the key fault of this episode was that it’s too much RICHARD III, too little I, CLAUDIUS (The latter of which does a much better job of evoking a monarch who managed to die old, honoured, still reigning and reasonably comfortable despite being, in some ways, a silly little man surrounded by human sharks).
Plus I, Claudius has much better costumes than what is going on here
On the other hand, it also had an equally-mistrustful attitude towards the fairer sex (It’s just that Livia Augusta was much better at her job – now there’s a though, Livia Vs John Knox!).
The sad thing is that somewhere, some dopey person is going to believe that because this was on television, this was exactly how it happened. I had a roommate like that. Ugh.
It’s just possible they got the idea for Mary practising for her execution from contemporary accounts that Queen Catherine Howard asked for the block to be brought to her apartment in the Tower on the night before her execution so she could practise laying her head on it and not disgrace herself in public by clumsiness or hesitancy. And while it’s not reported that Mary did the same, it wouldn’t be at all out of character for her. Eyewitness accounts of her actual execution make clear how ostentatiously dignified she was about it.