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If you’ve been following Frock Flicks on social media — Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter — then hopefully you’ve been enjoying all the memes we post as part of Snark Week! We’ve been trying to highlight some upcoming movies and TV series that look particularly dire in the costume department. I thought I’d do a round-up, just so you can join me in hyperventilating (and not in a good way) about all this snark-worthy content coming soon to our screens!
Side note, I have to mention that The King’s Daughter has finally been released (January 21, 2022). That’s the new title for the previously titled The Moon and the Sun, in which Pierce Brosnan plays Louis XIV in the least 17th-century clothing you’ve EVER seen. We snarked the shit out of these costumes several years ago, so go check out that post for more info.
Diane de Poitiers (2022)
Okay, so I couldn’t figure out a good snark tag for this image, but Isabelle Adjani will be playing Diane de Poitiers (1500-66), mistress to King Henry II, in a French TV movie due out sometime this year. This is the only still that’s so far been released, although you can see lots more WTFrockery if you check out Adjani’s Instagram. Special fork-in-the-eye bonus: Gérard Depardieu will play Nostradamus! The costumes are designed by Cyril Fontaine, who also designed Depardieu’s Rasputin (2011).
Sanditon season 2 (2022)
Try not to get too excited, but we’re due for another season of Sanditon, the completely lacklusterly-designed faux-Jane Austen adaptation. Sad trombone. It premieres March 22, 2022, on PBS. This time the costumes will be designed by Lauren Miller, but it doesn’t look like she’s managed to improve on anything.
Sisi (2021) / The Empress (2022)
There are not one but TWO dueling films about Empress Elisabeth of Austria (1837-98), aka Sissi, coming soon to your screens! Hopefully. The first is a German TV (RTL) miniseries called Sisi that’s already been released there. (Sadly, IMDB doesn’t list a costume designer). So far I’m not finding a way to watch it in the U.S., but we can hope, because the costumes look RIDONKULOUS:
THEN, Netflix is making a series about Empress Elisabeth as well, called The Empress. (Again, no costume designer listed — yet?). So far I’ve only seen this one image, but it’s already making me question which fast-fashion chain designed the costumes:
OH DEAR. Dakota Johnson, star of the 50 Shades of Grey franchise and daughter of Don Johnson of Miami Vice fame, will be playing ANNE FUCKING ELLIOT in JANE FUCKING AUSTEN’S Persuasion — coming to Netflix sometime this year. All the yelling is because WHAT THE HELL DO THESE COSTUME CHOICES HAVE TO DO WITH REGENCY FASHION:
And I can’t include the image here for copyright purposes, but check out these images of Dakota Johnson looking allegedly “elegant” in an allegedly “regency-style coat,” according to the Daily Fail, while filming. What the FUCK does that unbleached linen artist’s smock have to do with Regency elegance or outerwear, I ask you?
Glow and Darkness (someday, unfortunately)
Dear fucking god. DEAR FUCKING GOD. A Spanish team is filming an English-language series called Glow and Darkness that is allegedly about Saint Francis of Assisi and allegedly features Richard the Lionheart, Eleanor of Aquitaine, and Pope Urban II. It hasn’t yet found a distributor. JOAN FUCKING COLLINS will play “Adelaide of Savoy.” DENISE FUCKING RICHARDS will play the “countess of Champagne.” JANE FUCKING SEYMOUR will play Eleanor of Aquitaine. No costume designer is listed on IMDB, and I hope there never is, because whoever the fuck came up with this shit should REALLY RECONSIDER THEIR CAREER CHOICES.
Our behind-the-scenes convo:
Which of these travesties makes you hyperventilate the most, and why is it Glow and Darkness?