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Oh, Tom Cruise. Many people find Tom Cruise attractive. I can see it. He’s got that charming smile that works in many contexts. But he’s not really the thinking person’s guy. He’s cute, but that’s the extent. Plus, there’s the scary Scientology weirdness that just freaks me out. He’s fine in action movies, and he’s kind of good in sci-fi. Will I see Top Gun 2 for nostalgia’s sake? Sure. But Cruise needs to stick to his lane, stop trying to be a thespian, and stop getting into my frock flicks. We know he went to the Furrowed Brow School of Acting. Point made.
The Outsiders (1983)
I feel like everyone I know was forced to watch this movie, and the book it’s adapted from, in middle school, and somehow I lucked out. I’m sure this story of guys getting into trouble in 1960s Oklahoma would be super meaningful to 12-year-old me, but I’m not feeling it.
Losin’ It (1983)
An early 1980s comedy film about four guys in the 1950s who go to Tijuana to lose their virginity. Charming.
Not the least bit historical, actually 100% fantasy, and yet I’m filling out this post. All I remember from this story of a “pure being” (Cruise) who tries to stop the Lord of Darkness is All The Pollen.
Born on the Fourth of July (1989)
One of the films that Cruise gets rave acting reviews for, about a real-life Vietnam vet dealing with the aftermath of his service. Never seen it.
Far and Away (1992)
I’ve already confessed that I watched this movie, about two Irish-American immigrants in the 1890s and based on Cruise’s real-life ancestors (allegedly, I wanna see documentation), a million times in college. Nicole Kidman is fab. Cruise demonstrates emotion through running.
Interview with the Vampire (1994)
I’ve never read any Anne Rice (sorry!), so I enjoyed the movie when it came out but was confused by elements — specifically, Cruise as Lestat. When a friend explained that Lestat’s character was supposed to be an irresistibly charming rockstar type, so much became clear to me, because I in no way got that from Cruise.
The Last Samurai (2003)
In no way does this sound like a good idea: “Tom Cruise portrays a United States Captain of the 7th Cavalry Regiment, whose personal and emotional conflicts bring him into contact with samurai warriors in the wake of the Meiji Restoration in 19th-century Japan. The film’s plot was inspired by the 1877 Satsuma Rebellion led by Saigō Takamori, and the westernization of Japan by foreign powers” (Wikipedia). I don’t know, maybe I’d watch it if it wasn’t centered on Cruise (the white bro) and instead focused on the Japanese characters?
Cruise plays real-life German Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, who led a plot to assassinate Hitler. See it for Carice van Houten‘s amazing outfits, enjoy laughing at Cruise’s accent.
What’s your least favorite Tom Cruise frock flick role?