TBT: The Golden Girls

Okay, give me all the crap for this Extremely Tangential Post, but during the pandemic I rewatched the entire run of The Golden Girls (1985-1992) and was amused that there were several flashback episodes. Of course, the farthest back they actually go is the 1920s, and there’s nothing all that exciting to report, but having had a weird moment I tracked down all kinds of images of these episodes. And then thought “Nah, that’s not worth a post.” And then those images have sat on my computer, staring at me. And I finally gave up and said “Okay, so write a super stupid and tangential post! It won’t be the first time…”

The Golden Girls‘ costumes were designed by Judy Evans (Soap, Designing Women, the 1987-90 TV show Beauty and the Beast, Empty Nest).

So grab some cheesecake and join me in reverse chronological order…

 

Picture It: Brooklyn, 1957

“Mother’s Day” (1988 – s03e25)

Sophia is expecting her own mother, Eleanor, to visit on Mother’s Day. She wants her mother to move in with her and Sal, but the two don’t get along. Eleanor — played by Bea Arthur — shows up with a younger Dorothy (Lynnie Greene). How is Eleanor an Italian name? (Eleonore, yes!)

Eleanor: Sicily, 1881. A beautiful, young peasant girl…

 

Picture It: Brooklyn, April 1956

“A Piece of Cake” (1987 – s02e25)

While recalling past birthdays, Sophia tells the story of her 50th. She fought with her husband, Sal, when he pointed out that her birth certificate had an error, leading her to believe she was only 48.

Sal: [yelling] I’m tired of this “old lady” business. You’re acting like an ass! You don’t look 50. You don’t look 48. You’re as beautiful as the day I married you.

Sophia: Oh, Salvadore! Tell me that again.

Sal: [still yelling] You’re acting like an ass!

 

Picture It: Brooklyn, April 1954

“One for the Money” (1987 – s03e02)

Dorothy visits Sophia, asking her mother to watch her kids so she can get a part-time job in order to buy a TV. Sophia has started sewing to make extra money, and says no. The two fight, but then admit that Dorothy wants to buy the TV for Sal, while Sophia wants to buy the TV for Dorothy.

Sophia: Stan lost his job. I told you that yutz is a deadbeat.

Young Dorothy: Stan did not lose his job.

Sophia: His job he could afford to lose. A novelty salesman. The novelty would be if he made a sale.

 

Picture It: Brooklyn, 1948

“Dateline: Miami” (1991 – s07e07)

While Dorothy goes out on a date, Sophia tells the story of the time she bribed a local boy to go out with Dorothy, only for Dorothy and Stan to come home and reveal they’re pregnant.

Sophia: How could you throw everything away for an hour’s worth of passion?

Young Dorothy: I don’t know. It just sort of… What do you mean an hour’s worth? It’s supposed to take an hour?

 

Picture It: 1930-31ish

“Clinton Avenue Memoirs” (1990 – s05e16)

Worried about possible memory loss, Sophia and Dorothy visit their old apartment. There’s a brief flashback to a very young Dorothy being jealous of new baby Phil, and Sal talking her out of her anger.

Young Sal: Your mother’s had a rough week. First I’m called away, and then the baby’s delivered by a cabby.

Young Sophia: Cesarean!

 

Picture It: 1929ish

“Valentine’s Day” (1988 – s04e15)

Sophia and Sal are driving with Sophia’s dad to California via Chicago and stop on Valentine’s Day at a mechanics to fix their car. While they’re there, a mob shootout happens nearby, referencing the St. Valentine’s Day massacre (see Wikipedia). Weirdly, although they would be younger than the episode above, Sophia and Sal are played by their older/contemporary actors (Estelle Getty and Sid Melton).

Sophia’s dad: Mr. Ziti-for-Brains decides to take a shortcut through Chicago in the dead of winter.

Sophia: Pop, he didn’t plan it that way. He lost the map. He didn’t know where he was going.

Sophia’s dad: I could’ve told him where he was going. I told you where he was going the first time I met him. Nowhere. That’s where he was going. You married a bum.

I’m super sad to announce that that’s as far back as things go — we never see Sophia in Sicily! Which is a travesty! (Except when elderly Sophia goes back to visit).

 

And that, my friends, is your random trip through Kendra’s pandemic lockdown experience!