When I did the WCW feature on Charlize Theron a while back, I got a wild hair to try to do a post about A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014). It had been quite a while since I’d watched it and I had very little memory of it, so why not? I’ll tell you why not. God, this movie sucks. It sucks SO hard that words almost fail me. I’m struggling at this point to muster even a modicum of fucks to type out this much so far because I’d really rather not. I’d rather scrub my toilet than write this post. But I committed, so … Here we go.
To give you the briefest synopsis of this film I can, it’s written and directed by Seth MacFarlane, who also stars in it. It follows Seth’s character, Albert, a general fuck-up of a young man who just got dumped by his way-out-of-his-league girlfriend (Amanda Seyfried) because he’s so aimless in life, and Albert’s two best friends, Edward (Giovanni Ribisi) and Ruth (Sarah Silverman), who have their own loving, yet highly unconventional relationship (he’s a cobbler, she’s a prostitute; hilarity ensues). Their lives in a small Western town are upended when outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson) and his gang arrive to wreak havoc. Anna Barnes-Leatherwood (Charlize Theron), Clinch’s wife, and herself part of his outlaw gang, immediately causes turmoil for Albert who starts to develop feelings for her. Throw in a lot of gross-out, not-really-funny humor against the backdrop of the “old west,” and that’s basically the extent of the plot.
The costumes, meanwhile, aren’t all together horrible. There are, in fact, some really decent ones. Costume designer Cindy Evans manages to pull together a cohesive look on vibes alone, so hats off to her. The film purports to take place in the 1880s, but there’s a distinct lack of bustles about (with one exception, which I’ll get to), but it’s also the old west. So. Ok. I mean, it’s not like this was an Oscar contender, but I will happily give credit where credit is due.
So, without further ado, here’s my take on the costumes in A Million Ways to Die in the Old West.
The Good: All the Whores!
Overall, the whores hands-down have the best outfits in this film. They’re actually wearing shirts/camisoles/shifts under their corsets! Their hair is usually at least mostly up! They’re frequently shown wearing the most accurate over-garments, even if it’s styled sluttily!
The Bad: Lots of meh to go around
Even the whores don’t get a full pass. Exhibit A:
The Ugly: That godforsaken blue ballgown
The only redeeming thing about this film is this scene:
Have you watched A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Find this frock flick at:
My only quibble with this review is that it leaves out the glorious musical interlude of ‘If you only had a moustache’ and a picture of Mr Neil Patrick Harris putting the advice in that song to the test.
Also, if Mr Seth MacFarlane wanted to make this film really work, he should have found an actor with more of what Mr Giovanni Ribisi has in spades, taken the role of Moustache Jerk (Which he was clearly born to play) and beefed it up accordingly.
‘Underdog pioneer ground down by the hardships of the Old Frontier’ is a rope quite hard to take seriously when played by a man with Rat Pack charm.
You’re not wrong on both accounts! I do love me some peak NPH camp, and this film did allow him to do what he does best… just the costumes were still not really worth commenting on, so I didn’t.
And Seth MacFarlane is responsible for a lot of my favorite comedies in the last decade or so (and one really amazing jazz album), but I forgot that I really don’t like HIM in his comedies. He can write and direct anything and I’ll probably watch it, but the self-insert roles just never work for me and this film was a great example of why. He’s just not a good comedic actor.
I’d argue that he’s an excellent voice actor who doesn’t quite make the grade in Live Action – although credit where it’s due, he can still be extremely entertaining (Just watch LOGAN LUCKY).
Meh to most Westerns! Also Amanda’s dresses seem early Bustle period of the very early 1870s?
Walking around in cowboy boots? Footwear specifically designed for riding? Owie. My dad adores cowboy boots, but he says they take a long long time to break in.
Given this is a comedy about how hilariously backward and hard to live in the Old West was, it’s possible that this is meant to be the closest a small town Frontier gal can get to high heels …
From what I can see in this screencap, I think you may be right!
https://fancaps.net/movies/Image.php?imageid=1560016
Haven’t seen this, as I’m no fan of Seth McFarlane or NPH, but is that Doc Brown in the last photo? With a hidden De Lorean? In which case, I’d watch the scene and nothing else.
To the madam’s outfit, I say:
“Whoa-oh-oh, everyone was wearing fingerless gloves!”
https://youtu.be/8yvEYKRF5IA?si=NYionXa2ZRTnRccG&t=75