27 thoughts on “SNARK WEEK: Why Legends of the Fall Must DIAF

  1. Thank you for enumerating every single reason this movie blows chunks all over the place. I hated it then, I hate it now, and Brad Pitt should never have been a Thing. Especially in anything remotely historical. Excuse me while I unswallow *hurk*


    1. I left off the #6 reason why this movie bugs the shit out of me: Brad Pitt’s character is named “Tristan” so I have to hear ME referred to all during this lame-ass flick. Also, I’m pretty sure this is why there are so many little boys named Tristan right now, so whenever I’m in the mall or Target, I hear some mom my age yell “Tristan!” & I turn around & want to pop a bitch.

      1. That’s better than my high school experience, at which one of the science teachers had a dog named Tundra. People would yell “Tundra!” and I would turn around!

  3. For me, this one is close to the top for sheer irritation. First is that Brad Pitt’s hair- yeah, the late 19th Century was just crawling with long-haired hippies. NOT. And especially when he and his brothers join the Canadian Army- sorry guys, lose the hair. Ever hear of lice? Armies of the period were sticklers for hygiene- lice = disease = less soldiers available to fight.

    Yes, prior to America’s entry into WWI, many Americans did go north to Canada to enlist- no issue there. As far as Hopkin’s character resigning in protest over treatment of Native Americans- would not have happened. That’s modern the modern PC mentality. This is not to say that officers were oblivious- many were quite critical of the Government’s policies- policies often created by misguided or corrupt politicians but in the end, nobody was going to throw their career away over it.

    I actually read the story that this movie was adapted from and it was no better. Cliches piled on cliches and the usual wildman vs civilization thing. Yawn.

  4. Yes! All these beautiful people and I prayed for them to die quickly so I could leave the theater. I recommend A River Runs through It as a palate cleanser.

  5. The only thing I liked about this movie (the one and only time I ever saw it—also in the cinema when it came out) is that it introduced me to Aidan Quinn!

  6. Ugh I am so happy to know other people hated this movie! My brother and dad loved it and were so pissed at me when we watched it together and all I did was complain.

    I salute you for finding the courage to rewatch. I don’t think I could.

  7. I’m afraid that I find Brad Pitt si beautiful in this movie that it shuts off every other part of my brain. However, as far as Aidan Quinn goes, I fell in love with him in Desperately Seeking Susan.

  8. Thank you for saying everything that was wrong with this crap-ass movie! I watched this when it was on TV and was like what?! I did not like any of the characters and the older brother was so whiny but he was so verbally abused by his douche dad who preferred his good for nothing brother (who was only good at looking good -Fabio-looking :p) that I nodded my head when he said that line about how he played by the rules and everybody screwed him over.

  9. Heh. The artistic director of the company I danced with hates this movie as much as you. During rehearsals in the late Nineties she used to use it as an example of bad acting.
    “Don’t act it like those miserable people in Legends of the Fall!” :)

  10. Thank you! I loathe that movie, and regret spending the money to see it in the theater. It’s right up there with another Brad Pitt movie, 12 Monkeys, for things in my life I’ve labeled “Welp, that’s three hours I’ll never get back…”

  11. Was forced to watch this with my in-laws last night and searched the web for some like-minded filmic souls. The Native American/indigenous experiences as an “add on”; the complete shallowness of the characterisation ; horse riding designer clothing wearing stud muffin; the endless loop of teary-eyed orchestral bulshit; it all lays testament to the state of affairs we currently reside. Thank u 1990’s there r now millennials being nostalgic about this shite…..why do brains feel comforted by sth that literally seems to make one dumber. It was weird to listen to family say how great it was,,,”Mills n Boon trash novel” was my diplomatic summary. Was 16 and a student of film when it came out now almost 40 being told by children about to procreate that we should waste our spare time on a Saturday night in such a way. Ironically this film is a clear example of why there would b zero chance of me running off with my sister-in-law should certain people in the household suddenly volunteer for war – this monstrosity of a movie is the war!

  12. I didn’t see this movie until several years after it came out. At that time I was blown away by the cinematography, especially how gorgeous the west was portrayed. Even though Brad Pitt too was gorgeous, I noticed even then he couldn’t act his way out of a wet paper bag.
    Fast forward to mid-2000s. Watched it again, and realized that Tristan was a complete POS, who had been spoiled since birth, making him practically a sociopath. Also noticed the costumes were wrong, most of the hairstyles were wrong, the weaponry was wrong, and on and on AND ON.
    One more jump to around 2014. Watched for what will be the last time. Tristan was a complete loser who screwed up everybody who ever cared about him. Even “Indian” voiceover absolved him of ANY responsibility, by saying it was “the bear that made him do it”. Jeez … I thought the whole “the devil made me do it” was over and done with in the early 70s, and it was already a cliche by then!
    I do have a grandson named Tristan, but I think he was named after an equally crappy James Franco movie, Tristan and Isolde. At least that’s a better love story, even if it’s a horrible movie.

  13. gosh this movie bothered me. Being native myself someone said to watch it. goodness they make indian people look crazy. The whole plot is a big mess with unlikeable characters and things that make no sense. The older brother though winned alot had every reason too. His dad and brother were nuts. The movie acted like it was the greatest movie ever, the score was overblown the way it looked was to big. if the film felt smaller it would have felt bigger as well. instead like its overblown score we are forced to believe its such a big nice looking film, the native ended up being instead of a great guide and storyteller almost a complete 360 and the filmmakers almost look racist for it, it tries to make it a big family drama who come together at the end but really they’re all a bunch of crazy stubborn assholes.

  14. It’s funny to see how none of you get it. Being apart of wilderness, family and love. Your comments explain a lot.

  15. I agree with the few saying this is too harsh. The actors were great, and Susannah did not fall in “lurve” (gaw I HATE that stupid non-word) with Tristan right away; she loved Samuel. The first sign of any spark between them occurred when Tristan hugged her after she begged him to bring Samuel back safely. I loved the Native characters and how One Stab understood the individual family members; his narration was beautiful and unusual to me, esp how he described Tristan’s guilt and PTSD. And yes, Tristan had unusual hair for that time period; every other family member had regular hair, but Tristan often identified more with Native ways than white “civilized” ones and I think that was part of his character (other than yes, a desire to flaunt Pitt’s ‘do). Other than Susannah getting with Tristan after Samuel died, I couldn’t have seen a lot of what came later; I certainly wouldn’t have predicted Susannah’s end, and the manner of it is the one thing I truly dislike and found over the top in the film.

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