29 thoughts on “The Spanish Princess Recap: Episode 3

  1. This is so atrocious. Everyone involved needs remedial history classes. You need to be canonised for watching this sh*t. Philippa Fucking Gregory needs to be sent to Kingslanding right before Drogon torches it.
    Just think tonight – Tuesday- we get a new episode of Gentleman Jack. Huzzah.

  2. It’s moot since I don’t have Starz, but your descriptions of the plots and characters would be enough to put me off watching, never mind the “creative” costumes.
    Jealous of the swanning about Versailles – hope you have a wonderful time!!

  3. LOL LOL LOL, but that is the “scissor crossing” of Wells Cathedral in the first photo. They sure knew how to make keep-the-building-from-falling-down things look pretty.

    1. Yes they did. Lovely.
      BTW Arthur is actually buried in Worcester Cathedral. It would have killed them to use the right Cathedral?

      1. Speaking of architecture, do I detect Queen Isabella’s window embrasure in the background of Henry and Elizabeth’s scene?

  4. ugh. Why yes I think in a culture that takes oaths seriously everyone will be fine with a huge lie under oath.

    I think after this you probably really, really need that Versailles trip! Enjoy and don’t think about this shit show at all.

  5. Oh God. You totally deserve a vacation. Enjoy!
    Firstly, Neither ten year old Henry nor sixteen year old Catherine had much say in what would happen to them, or expected to. Henry VII wanted to hang on to that dowry and suggested – after Elizabeth’s death, marrying Catherine himself. That went over like a lead balloon so Henry became the expectant bridegroom. Then Isabella died and Catherine’s value on the marriage market took a dive. Ferdinand was now only King of Aragon, the smaller of the two Spains, and the Hapsburgs had their sticky fingers on Castile. To say Ferdie had more important concerns than Catherine would be an understatement. Both Dads argued over who was responsible for her support and because both were distinguished misers neither would pay. However Catherine did at one point get officially appointed representative of Spain, not the first female diplomat by any stretch but the first to be official. I don’t think she got a salary.
    Meanwhile Henry is growing up, developing a strong resentment towards his father and a romantic fixation on ‘his’ princess who desperately needs rescuing. Of course so does Henry himself as Dad is sitting on him like a hen on an egg. According to contemporary accounts young Henry’s chamber opened off his father’s and had no other egress. Henry Sr. doesn’t seem to have thought much of his younger son. Probably reminded him too much of Edward IV.
    Elizabeth and Margaret Beaufort were totally on board for the Scottish marriage but both were concerned about premature consummation doubting twelve year old Margaret could be trusted to James IV. Margaret didn’t go North til she was fourteen and James seems to have behaved like a perfect knight, their first child was born four years later. The proxy marriage had taken place and Margaret was officially a married woman and Queen of Scots when her mother died. It is highly unlikely she was in the birth chamber during labor. If she was called in to say good-bye the attendants would have made an effort to clean up make the visit as un-distressing as possible. BTW Margaret Tudor was Margaret Beaufort’s favorite grandchild and she would have been extremely supportive to any concerns the girl had while teaching her that marriage was her duty.
    Catherine of Aragon could not use a sword.
    The confusion over the consummation or non-consummation was genuine. The two people who should have known, Catherine’s Duenna and her confessor told opposing stories. Either they were too delicate to question Catherine herself or Catherine was confused too. The final dispensation for the marriage to Henry covered both eventualities but the text was somewhat confusing and could have been made grounds for annulment.
    What’s Oviedo talking about? The Inquisition was established by Ferdinand and Isabella in 1478. 1502 was way to late to be panicking about it. Also the real Oviedo and his wife Catalina seem to have lived perfectly comfortably under the Inquisition.
    Elizabeth of York’s last child survived long enough to be baptized Catherine in honor of guess who. She was obviously not stillborn dying a few days after birth. Elizabeth herself did not die in messy labor but expired from puerperal fever a week after the birth, on her own birthday in fact. Henry and her children were devastated, and probably Catherine too. It must have seemed to her like every friendly member of her new family was being taken from her.

  6. My hand cramped from writing down all the inaccuracies in this episode. I wound up laughing a lot since crying with annoyance sounded like too much work.

    That being said, though that blue dress Catherine wears is highly inaccurate — it’s pretty and I love it. I want to see more of it. :P

  7. If Catherine was confused about the status of her hymen it’s probably because she was getting contradictory advice from the two authority figures in her life; her Duenna and her Priest. You could make a good scene, even an entire episode, out of a grieving and somewhat frightened sixteen year old girl struggling with conflicting advice from her two authority figures not to mention her sense of destiny and homesickness, the former urging her to marry young Henry (or old one for that matter) and become Queen and the latter whinging ‘I want to go home!’ Then Queen Elizabeth dies, and shortly afterward Isabella dies and neither father seems to care about her any more. There’s no money and every question whether her marriage will ever take place… Poor Catherine!

    1. Thank you for the facts, though I don’t think that Philipa Fucking Gregory ever let facts confuse a good yarn. Though the status of Catherine’s hymen might not been even an issue. Since she was a royal born girl who was expected to ride in royal processions with her family, she might have already ruptured the hymen. So there could have been no blood on the sheets of either marriage.

      1. That is highly probable. later when Catherine’s virginity became an issue there was no talk of bloody sheets. Apparently it was understood that she might not bleed.

  8. Guys, They’re “Saving Catherine’s story from the patriarchal lens of history!” or whatever Horseshit they’re marketing this complete GARBAGE as!

  9. I’ve definitely seen peaked headresses like that in a historical context but about a century earlier and French. What I want to knows is why heavy black fishing net is suddenly fashionable at court.

  10. I kind of think they might be leaving a backdoor so that when their next series rolls around and a certain pair of Boleyn girls come to court, their audience doesn’t feel too bad about Henry leaving Catherine.

  11. Never marry Henry VIII. On the other hand feel free to have an affair with him. He seems to have treated his mistresses better than his wives, he had no high expectations of them and when done with them he provided for their future with a good husband of suitable rank as a gentleman was suppose to.

    I once had a dream in which I was Henry VIII’s mistress. We were sitting together in the hall of one of his manors watching some kind of entertainment and Henry was being perfectly charming. I believe I thought how lucky I was I wasn’t his wife.

      1. Henry followed the rules where mistresses were concerned. He was notably discreet, the only two mistresses we can be sure of are Bessie Blount who bore his only known illegitimate child, and Mary Boleyn whose affair is only on record because Henry needed a dispensation to marry her sister. There were undoubtedly others but from these two cases we know that Henry tried to avoid creating open scandal – which was good for the lady’s future repute – and pensioned her off by making a good match for her. There is no reason to believe any relationship previous to Anne Boleyn lasted very long. Everybody seemed to think Henry would tire of Anne and dismiss her as he had all the others. As we know he didn’t.

    1. Weirdly enough, his grumpy daddy seems to be absolutely great husband. I have a feeling the character of Tywin Lannister was slightly inspired by him – both were kind of assholes who were all about money, prestige and power, but loved their wives and were really great husbands.

      1. Henry VII’s character disintegrated visibly after Elizabeth’s death. Something similar happened to Ferdinant the Catholic after losing Isabella. Basically Catherine was dealing with two men who’d just lost their moral anchor, were emotionally devastated and whose worst instincts were in full charge.

        1. As far as I know, these two have always been dicks, but you’re right, Elizabeth would vouch for Catherine. On the other hand, Margaret Beaufort was alive and she still wasn’t much help, so I doubt Elizabeth, who was less influential, would really make a change. Meanwhile Ferdinand was kind of occupied at the time screwing over his OTHER daughter, so there’s that. (And it’s really fucking sad, to read about poor Joanne being screwed over by both her husband and father, but that’s a topic for another day.)

  12. Both Henry and Ferdinand had their Dickish side but Elizabeth and Isabella seem to have successfully kept them reined in. Elizabeth was the most invisible of royal wives but judging by the way Henry’s behavior nosedived after her death her love and support was vital to keeping him on an even keel.

  13. OH.DEAR.GOD – I’ve only watched up to this ep, & I’m questioning how I lasted this long- when I started, I thought I was only going to be eye-rolling & grinding my teeth… but no, I’ve also ended up bursting into hysterical giggles, too – but seriously, is there any reason why this trash gets made into movies/ series, when well-written, well-researched, & equally fascinating works don’t?
    I actually like Margaret’s green dress, I just wish she had a pair of stays on- obviously, corsets didn’t exist, yet but the girl needs some kind of support.

  14. “Maggie” would have been called Meg or Meggie, not Maggie. “Lizzie” would have been called Bess or Bessie, not Lizzie. Also, I’m pretty sure Prince Arthur died of Tuberculosis. It was reported that Henry VII had it too but didn’t die until it came back later, which wasn’t uncommon. About 25% of people who had TB went into “remission” and then it came back in full fury, killing the person.

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