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Frock Flicks is like my vanity press where I get to write whatever the fuck I want, and I generally love the shit out of doing it. Otherwise, I wouldn’t still be doing it, publishing five times a week after five years straight! But sometimes … sometimes we get comments that really irritate me. Last Snark Week, I categorized a few of them, but I missed some gems that deserve a follow-up. To wit…
People Who Don’t Like Swearing
When I see a comment like “you should realize just HOW distracting all your cursing is in this article,” I know that Frock Flicks is CLEARLY not for that person. Please head over to the New York Times or somewhere tidy and safe like Disney.com! That’s not who we are. Bitchy is our brand for a reason.
How Dare You Have a Patreon, Part 2, Electric Bugaloo!
Yes, I run this site out of the goodness of my little black heart, so 98% of the content is FREE!!!!!!!!! Just search around, I’m not going to add up how many hundreds of articles are available to each and every one of you to read and discuss and comment on.
Because when someone says “It seems like everything is behind a patreon firewall after a teaser post that gets me to click over to the site,” they are dead fucking wrong! We post a Patreon article once a month, at most. I actually feel bad that our Patreon subscribers don’t get MORE content for their money!!!
Patreon subscribers are the best!!! Patreon subscribers keep me, Kendra, and Sarah from having to spend a shitton of money in addition to the shitton of time we already spend on this ridiculous hobby of Frock Flicks. We owe Patreon subscribers two or three articles a month, but it’s fucktards that whine about it, plus my own guilt about wanting to give Patreon subscribers only really really high-quality articles that stops me.
At some point, maybe I will just put random articles behind the Patreon paywall, so those fuckers will have something legit to bitch about.
The Super Random Off-Topic Comments
Say we have a post about a particular movie. Lots of comments come in about that movie — the costumes, the actors, the historical period. Cool. Then someone comments, “hey, what do you think about the costumes in this totally unrelated TV show?”
I get it, you want to talk about your thing. But try talking about it in the right venue. First, search the site and see if we have an article about your thing. Then post there.
Better yet, wait till the first Friday of the month. That’s when we have the Free-for-All open thread on the blog. Everyone is free to talk about whatever you want that’s tangentially related to history, costume, movies, or TV shows.
Related: Emails With No Context!
If you’re going to email us, please, for the love of natural fibers, please tell us what you’re talking about! We’ve actually received more than one email where the entire content was like this:
“What kind of clothing are these women wearing? What fabric is that and where can I buy such dresses. It’s very beautiful, you talk about the costume designer but fail to talk about the whole clothing.”
No picture included, no URL, no movie/TV name mentioned. Not only do we not enjoy doing your homework, we can’t read your mind to do it!
Where Can I Watch That Frock Flick?
Perhaps the most frequently asked question in comments and on social media is “where can I watch that movie or TV show?” Folks, we DO have this in our FAQ! In the top nav of the blog, click “About” then “Frock Flicks FAQ,” and it’s the third question. Let me recap:
There are online tools you can use to see if a movie/TV show is available for streaming. You can buy a DVD/Blu-ray, even VHS, and libraries also have them. You can watch movies in theaters or on live TV, cable TV, on-demand, or YouTube.
What we can’t do is identify exactly where a specific frock flick is available for you because we don’t know where you live and what services you have available! For example, I can watch something on Netflix one month and post the review the following month. But maybe the show isn’t available on Netflix where you reside in Australia for two more months or at all. Or you don’t have Netflix! How can I know any of this? You gotta figure these things out for yourself, folks.
What burning question do you have that will annoy me next?
I love you salty gals. Pass the rash cream.
Back at ya, baby! mwah
Preach it, sister!
Question though, and I Hope this one doesn’t annoy you too much, but I’m interested in knowing the exact scientific measurement of a shitton. Is it greater than or equal to a shitload? Or is it more akin to a fuckton? None of the unit converter apps has the information and it seems like something a seamstress should know. I’d hate to buy too little of something, ya know? :)-
Oh a shitload is smallest, then it’s a shitton, which is less than a fuckton. But note that there’s also metric fuckton — us Americans don’t know how to measure that tho ;)
In metric it would be measured in nanoshit (nSt), microshit (µSt), milishit (mSt), shit (St), kiloshit (KSt), megashit (MSt) etc… considering the basic measure (Shit=St) is all the bullcrap that can be put inside a cubic metre. Not to be confused with the measurement of Fucks (Fk) ;)
I believe the metric fuckton is properly known as a fucktonne.
How about “It’s called Fiction for a reason! You can make up what you want because it’s fiction!”
OMG how I hate that one!
Hahah yeah, good one. You can make up what you want, and anyone can think your ideas and execution were skillful, believable, and accurate, or clunky, hard to believe, and inaccurate—and they can even say so in any forum available to them. Tada!
Yes, yes yes, I love that one! I am so having that!
And “it’s JUST entertainment!”
My favorite is that every now and then someone clearly is googling a much-loved show and doesn’t realize (somehow?) the entire point of this blog is to review the costumes, and gets annoyed that you’re a) only discussing the costumes and b) think they have problems, as if you should love the show like they do (matter of taste) and give costume problems a pass because it’s just such a wonderful story (even though it’s a historic costume review blog).
I don’t mind some swearing but it’s the Internet—it’s not like I paid a ticket with some expectations that it was a family show. If it’s too much or I disagree, I just move on. Like an adult. Because I am one.
Love all your work. Hope to be a patreon supporter some day when I’m feeling less of the “your generation gets massive school debt and tiny salaries” pinch. Until then, cheers & thanks, and I tell people about the blog a lot so here’s hoping that helps.
Oh yeah, the drive-by comments who just found us via search! They can be so tiresome.
We appreciate the thoughts of support — that helps to :)
Thanks for the snark. And I don’t mind the effing cursing.
How about, “we wanted to make the costumes relatable to a modern audience.” Does it never occur to these shitheads that people might be going to see historical movies because they know something about history?
Also: if I wanted relatable I’d watch a modern movie?
Relatability is a concept that is hard,and unnecessary,to apply to history.If movies can become relatable by dressing the cast in denim,then Henry viii should be depicted stalking Anne on instagram.But no,the productions decide to mess up with the costumes at the stake of our aesthetic sanity.
You have a good point here. One of the things that make me go all ballistic is the “relatable for the modern audiences” crap. I´m looking at the last Little Women as the most recent example.
How wonderful would it be to adapt that story to modern times? It have been done before with other classics (look at Lizzy Bennet diaries, in youtube). That way you can put all the relatableness you want! But no, it SHOULD be a “modern take of a classic story” screams internally
By tying the relatability so closely to the clothes and hair instead of relying on strong storytelling and performances they’re making it more likely that there will be a shelf life to their work, as those choices are often very tied into the current look, which also has a shelf life. If they want to do it modern, then do it that way! Happens to Shakespeare all the time—he’s been transplanted to many eras and settings successfully because he was a master storyteller. But if you’re all about a historical setting and then don’t care about getting that right, well, that’s not going to work as well.
Hi there! As a Patreon subscriber myself I have to say that people complaining about you providing exclusive content for your patrons really bugs me. You all do an amazing job and work really hard; providing entertainment, excellent research and a forum for all of us who love historical costume flicks… so there is much irritation when people seem to begrudge a small sum (at our discretion!) in support of the fabulous work you do. Come on people! The Frock Flicks Team deserves a little help in covering their costs, for heavens sake!
Thanks!!!! I really mean it when I feel bad we don’t post more on Patreon — I always worry ‘is this one good enough? is it long enough, are there enough photos?’ I don’t want to skimp for subscribers <3
Never fear – I have seen no skimping on any post, they are amazing and the content rocks! The MAS*H post was absolutely fantastic and the one on Lillie was superb… but it is really hard to pick certain posts out, as I have to say that all of the articles are top notch and to a fabulous standard! Thank you so much for your hard work and dedication, I am really, really glad that I subscribed!
Especially given the number of sites with rather more funding (the New York Times comes to mind) who keep reminding one that one has looked at one’s last article for the month. Or the sites that won’t let you on at all without cash up front. As for the swearing, ONE SOMETIMES NEEDS TO SWEAR. It’s a civilized alternative to smacking people upside the head.
Next week on Paperwork Monday I’m increasing my subscription a bit so that FF gets as much as the Guardian. We need diversion more than ever these days.
Regarding the swearing,even Disney made us face Maleficent and her powers of the “hell” and Claude Frollo cursed us with eternal damnation.If only these two could have delivered the judgement on the brains behind the costumes that would make a man want to stab his eyes.
I hate the posts in which someone complains about how “mean” you are. The sarcasm and bitchiness are what make Frock Flicks entertaining in addition to being educational. If these posters want nicey-nice critiques, they need to go elsewhere.
I swear a lot. I wear it as a mark of pride when my male friends say they’ve never met a woman who curses as much as I do. It does not detract from eloquence or intellectual discourse; I would argue they enhance a conversation.
I do not understand people who find the words “fuck” or “shit” inherently offensive; why? Do you find the words “feces” and “coitus” offensive too? Offensive words are racial, homophobic, sexist, transphobic, etc, etc, etc slurs.
Yes, exactly! Which is why I cringed when she used the term “fucktard,” since that’s derived from an ableist slur. It’s the second half of that word that’s the problem, not the first half.
Frock Flicks has been a highlight of my life for years. I love you ladies, love your humor, love your work. I laugh and I learn and I read every post. I’m happy to be able to be a Patreon subscriber as a small token of my appreciation for all you do.
Awwww, thanks!
I need to subscribe. Just for the fuck of it.
Do eet!
If you’re trying to track down a specific film, ask your local librarian! As a (former) reference librarian, I loved trying to find esoteric movies for my patrons!
You curse? I never fucking noticed. <3
Long live the snark! I belong to some other groups and my pet peeve? People posting a picture of their book or books on the subject. Congratulations you bought a book! Wow you must really be interested in this. And how did you find this amazing book? They are so rare.