SNARK WEEK: Behind the Scenes at Frock Flicks HQ

34 thoughts on “SNARK WEEK: Behind the Scenes at Frock Flicks HQ”

1. Bahahahar! Refrains of “drag queen threw up on it,” a softly cooed “hooooooor,” and “no assplay” will repeat in my head all afternoon. Thank goodness no one can hear me snorting.

2. Just offhand- One of you mentioned ‘Stealing Heaven’. It was… well, the backlaced ‘bliauts’ that Heloise wore annoy me for the nearly pastel colors, and well, the backlacing. I simply cannot support that. But she was cute in them. HER HAIR though- drove me nuts.The rest of the costumes were pretty much meh. Standard ratty ‘medievalish’ fare. The movie itself though- not bad for the time. And Derek de Lint was pretty.

   So yeah, give it a shot!

   1. It’s on my list! As the resident medieval “expert” they usually kick these gems my way. :P

   2. THE HAIR! THE SHAGGING!

   3. I’ve been half-heartedly looking for it for years. It’s def hard to find. Let me know if you have luck.

   4. Its been years since I’ve seen Stealing Heaven. The only two things I remember specifically are the matte painting background of 12th C. Paris and that the song the students are singing in the tavern is to the tune of Sic Mea Fata from the 12-13th C. Carmina Burana.

3. I love you guys. <3

4. As anyone knows, Gentle Reader, young ladies who are well bred use Bobby pins/Kirby clips, ergo since this vixen isn’t, we will classify her as a ‘hope’. ??

5. Argh, avast ye hardy, it should be ‘Hoor’

6. Oh Trystan, you tried to watch Van Helsing for us? Twice??? You are a stronger woman than I. I made it through about 10 minutes of this travesty, which I only tried because an old gymnastics teammate of mine was Kate Beckinsale’s stunt double. It looked like she got to have some fun with wirework, at least.

   Hm…maybe I’ll see if I can hit her up sometime for an interview about what it’s like to do stunts in historical costume. Would you guys be into that at all?

   1. “Van Helsing” is actually something I want to get around to watching for the blog because my tollerance for wtf is apparently much higher than K&T’s. It looks gloriously bad and as someone raised on MST3k it’s right up my alley.

      Now, try to get me to watch some weepy historical chick flick and watch while I pass out from boredom.

      1. It’s pretty funny.

   2. Oh I tried! But my hate for bad vampire flicks has only grown as I’ve gotten older & now they just make me spit fire instead of any good snark ;-)

7. Everything about this was my favorite!

8. I moderately enjoyed Stealing Heaven as it told Heloise and Abelard’s tale. What I didn’t like was Heloise’s hair being uncovered. Someone should have whacked the costume and hair designers with a ruler and said (as one would dress a first grader) ‘You will write on the blackboard 1,000 times : In the future, all women in medieval films will have their hair covered!’ This ends the lesson.

9. Regarding covering a real porn film (and not just costume porn), I’m reminded of something my husband said to a fellow re-enactor years ago when they were viewing an x-rated pirate film titled ‘Snatchbuckler’. A pirate was shagging a captive and my hubby said ,’look, he’s wearing a tawny sash!’

   1. “Snatchbuckler”!!!!

      “Tawny sash” – your hubs wins!!

10. You have validated my shouting at the tv…my husband smiles and nods and then I get out the books to prove a point…I’d do shadow puppets too, but well, you know…creepy. Seriously, best read. My face hurts now.

11. I’m getting stares as I read this on my mobile. Can’t. Stop. Laughing. Well, it’s more like choking down guffaws.

12. Share my pain: http://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/film-tv/news/g8395/the-white-princess-tv-show-first-look/

    1. Oh. God. I stopped reading at “niece and former lover (yup)” of Richard III.

       

       1. Did you not make it that far into “The White Queen”? =P

          Tumblr is now full of idio–I mean, fans of the other series who are legit convinced Elizabeth of York was totally banging her uncle Richard! I mean, how could she not? :P

    2. I WANT TO PUNCH THAT HEADLINE IN THE FACE.

       1. UGH. SO MUCH SO WRONG. #notmyfeminism

    3. LIZZIE.

    4. Holy crap.

       Those costumes are hideous (they make Reign look good), but if the screenplay is modeled on a book? I hate PG more than ever. Can’t believe how much ‘knowledge’ people have because of people like her, that I have to try to undo in the classroom.

       1. I feel your pain. I spend half my time telling people: no, EoY didn’t screw her uncle, no, Margaret Beaufort didn’t murder the missing princes, no, Henry VII was not a rapist, no, Anne Boleyn wasn’t an incestuous whore, no…

13. *stomach turns in nausea* No matter how hot one believes RIII was, that’s still yuck. But I believe uncle-niece marriages were not unheard of during Medieval and Renaissance times.

    1. In theory, no- it’s expressly against Canon Law. For some matters one could get a dispensation, but for one to be given for an uncle/niece pairing, circumstances would have to be extreme indeed.

       And I do not believe that there is any evidence of a liaison between young Elizabeth and RIII.

       1. I agree there is no evidence of that kind if behavior from Elizabeth and RIII.
          I refuse to read, watch or listen to books by PG as her research is atrocious and she creates facts and/scenes from the aether (air).
          I know about canon law as a Catholic, but I remember somewhere inky readings of history that if there were marriages btw uncle and niece, dispensations were given.

          1. Dispensations *could* be given, but at that stage, there would have to be a really good reason, like keeping a kingdom within eh RC and not letting it go to the Protestants, etc. Or if there was a war- something that would make it VERY politically expedient for the Pope to do it. Because even with a dispensation, it is still scandalous.

             However, my understanding is that PG says there was an affair- not a marriage. And frankly, I cannot imagine that a woman who would take her children to sanctuary for fear of a man is likely to let her political pawn oldest eligible daughter get anywhere near the man. Especially after the boys vanished.

             1. If I remember correctly Elizabeth of York was at RIII’s court while Anne, his wife, was alive. Richard sent Elizabeth after Anne’s demise to one of his estates . Sutton Hoo or something like that. I further believe her sister, Cecily, was sent with her.
                As I don’t believe that RIII killed/executed Edward and Richard of York, Elizabeth Woodville permitted them going to Court, while Queen Anne was alive and knew of her daughters being sent to the country. BTW does anyone read Elizabeth Peters? She wrote a modern mystery, The Murders of Richard III. It was set at a re-enactors weekend. Good snarks from Jacqueline Kirby, her detective, we librarian.

14. Yall are my very favorite people!

15. Kendra, I don’t think that’s a pig. I’m pretty sure it’s a mobile gas stove.

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